Getting married is one of the major stages of a romantic relationship. Therefore, we should carefully think about it before diving into marriage. Otherwise, we may end up hurting ourselves, our partner, or worse, our children. That’s why one of the most important things every couple should undergo is premarital counseling.
This counseling service is intended specifically for couples who plan on getting married. No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, premarital counseling will allow you to learn more about your partner and determine how you can bridge your differences and similarities.
What to Discuss
Several essential factors will play a huge part in your marriage, and premarital counseling aims to identify how you and your partner could work around these elements. Here are the things you need to discuss with your partner during counseling.
Role Expectations and Beliefs
We all grew up in different households, and that means we have different upbringings and beliefs. This will play a major role in your marriage. You might have learned that a wife and a husband must play certain roles in your marriage, but your partner might not have the same view. Undergoing premarital counseling would help uncover these beliefs and lay down expectations that will help the marriage.
When you build your future with someone, you have to talk about how you’re going to manage both of your finances. Unfortunately, one of the most prominent reasons for divorce in the country is money. We understand that it’s an uncomfortable conversation, but it’s also necessary. Saving up for your family’s future and reducing the cost of certain expenses should help in money management. For example, going for affordable but quality diamond engagement rings should help you and your partner with other more important financial concerns. Honesty and understanding play an essential part in this aspect of marriage.
Healing from the Past
Whether we like it or not, we are affected by the things we’ve experienced in the past, and it will be particularly harder for us to move forward if we’re still bounded by the chains of the experiences that we never learned to let go of. If we try to dive into marriage without healing from the past, we might just end up hurting our partner and future family. One huge part of premarital counseling is discussing these repressed emotions and letting go of them completely.
Aside from the past, you also need to have a plan for the future, which means knowing how to face conflicts that may come your way. We have different ways of coping with problems, but you also need to understand your partner’s coping mechanism when you get married. You need to realize the importance of discussing everything instead of merely sweeping it under the rug. Otherwise, it would be extremely harder for you and your partner to find solutions to your problems, which means it would just keep coming back to haunt both of you. Premarital counseling would allow you to develop the skills necessary to communicate effectively with your partner.
In line with monetary issues, another thing that couples usually feel uncomfortable discussing is their physical relationship. However, if it’s not properly discussed, there’s a higher chance that the marriage falls apart. That’s why premarital counseling focuses on this as well. Letting your partner know about your boundaries, preferences, beliefs, and behaviors about intimacy will develop a healthier relationship.
If there’s one thing you and your partner need to develop before getting married, it’s how to establish a healthy line of communication. Learning this will not just be helpful for the two of you but your future family as well. Communicating freely and openly about how you feel will help your partner understand you better. Through this healthy line of communication, you both can come up with ways to move forward in the relationship without holding any grudge or resentment. Premarital counseling teaches you certain styles and techniques on how to do this.
The Possibility of Having Children
Lastly, you both need to discuss your beliefs regarding raising, having, or not having children. Believe it or not, thousands of married couples never really talk about parenthood because they believe it just comes naturally. However, you and your partner need to discuss how many children you want or if you don’t want to have them at all. You also need to discuss how you’ll prepare for their future and how you will raise them.
Marriage is one of the trickiest parts of life that we have to learn how to navigate through. That’s why we must think thoroughly if we really wish to spend the rest of our lives with the person we are with right now. Premarital counseling will help you find answers to the questions you’re afraid to ask.